Monday, 21 March 2016

现实 | Crossroads

Posted by: Ryan O'Riordan

How do people do stuff like this with any regularity? Lately I've been finding writing these to be a struggle because to be completely honest there isn't an awful lot going on in my life that would make an entertaining read for anyone who isn't me.

On the school front, we're settling into the revision/existential crisis cycle that will be familiar to anyone who is also in the run up to their exams. I could write about my feelings concerning the imminent end of my school career, but I think too many of my recent posts have been about that, and the very last thing I want in the world is for you to be bored, dear reader.

I could write about what music I'm listening to, but no-one's music taste is truly interesting except for your own. Besides, the little recommendation left at the end of every post (which is usually alright you know) fulfils the music quota handily.

At this point I'd like to make it clear that this isn't a super agnsty post about how nobody gets me, or how nobody understands what it's like to try (and fail the vast majority of the time) to write on a blog once a week. Rather, consider this a meta-post; a post about posting. The thing is it's tricky to decide on what to write about.

I could take the BuzzFeed approach and write posts with annoying amounts of capital letters in their titles and the occasional inane list thrown in for good measure. A quick perusal of their homepage at the time of writing offers the following nuggets of inspiration:

"Raise Your Hand If You Fucking Love Chillies And Don't Care Who Knows It" 
"18 Times Lady Gaga's Dogs Proved They're The Most Glam Pups Ever" 
"19 Photos Anyone Trying To Adult Will Understand"

To be fair to BuzzFeed, that is a horrifically cherry picked list that ignores the amount of legitimate journalism on that site. thunk however, is meant to be a fairly light-hearted blog, and so in the absence of any investigative journalism skills of my own... all I'm saying is that there may come a time in the near future where I ask you to raise your hands if you love a fruit/vegetable, and you need the world to know.

An alternative to BuzzFeed-style posting is to take my lead from Vice, but similar problems arise. At this point in my life I'm not really able to investigate, for example, the heroin trade in the Philippines as part of their documentary team. This leaves me with their more casual content, which sadly I am equally unqualified for. Despite the weird assertions from friends that I'd fit right in at Vice, I don't consume nearly enough illicit substances to make that particular cut. I'm much more likely to sneak a chocolate digestive or two when my mum's not looking than to do a few cheeky lines of cocaine before I get down to that English essay. Some people might grow to appreciate this more personal style of journalism, but as a headline

"What the Slight Thrill of Eating a Forbidden Biscuit Taught Me About Life"
is slightly less interesting than
"My Memories of Being in Prison with the Infamous Gangster Whitey Bulger"
or... "A £150 Blunt and Other Products from the World of High-End Weed"

It seems like in order to supply you all with the high-quality, relatable content you've all come to expect from this blog, I've either got to either significantly increase my familiarity with American celebrity culture, or develop a dependency on at least three drugs of my choice, and really work on becoming more jaded and gratuitous swearing.

You know what? Fuck it, WHO LOVES CHILLIES, AM I RIGHT?

Ryan's listening to: 'The Modern Things' by Björk

Read my previous post here.

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